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Sound and Fury

Short Stories


A Bird of Bagdad

A Blackjack Bargainer

A Call Loan

A Chaparral Christmas Gift

A Chaparral Prince

A Comedy in Rubber

A Cosmopolite in a Cafe

A Departmental Case

A Dinner at--------*

A Double-Dyed Deceiver

A Fog in Santone

A Harlem Tragedy

A Lickpenny Lover

A Little Local Colour

A Little Talk about Mobs

A Madison Square Arabian Night

A Matter of Mean Elevation

A Midsummer Knight's Dream

A Midsummer Masquerade

A Municipal Report

A Newspaper Story

A Night in New Arabia

A Philistine in Bohemia

A Poor Rule

A Ramble in Aphasia

A Retrieved Reformation

A Ruler of Men

A Sacrifice Hit

A Service of Love

A Snapshot at the President

A Strange Story

A Technical Error

A Tempered Wind

According to Their Lights

After Twenty Years

An Adjustment of Nature

An Afternoon Miracle

An Apology

An Unfinished Christmas Story

An Unfinished Story

Aristocracy Versus Hash

Art and the Bronco

At Arms With Morpheus

Babes in the Jungle


Between Rounds

Bexar Scrip No. 2692

Blind Man's Holiday

Brickdust Row

Buried Treasure

By Courier

Calloway's Code


Cherchez La Femme

Christmas by Injunction

Compliments of the Season

Confessions of a Humorist

Conscience in Art

Cupid a La Carte

Cupid's Exile Number Two


Dougherty's Eye-Opener

Elsie in New York

Extradited from Bohemia

Fickle Fortune or How Gladys Hustled

Friends in San Rosario

From Each According to His Ability

From the Cabby's Seat

Georgia's Ruling


He Also Serves

Hearts and Crosses

Hearts and Hands

Helping the Other Fellow

Holding Up a Train

Hostages to Momus

Hygeia at the Solito

Innocents of Broadway

Jeff Peters as a Personal Magnet

Jimmy Hayes and Muriel

Law and Order

Let Me Feel Your Pulse

Little Speck in Garnered Fruit

Lord Oakhurst's Curse

Lost on Dress Parade

Madame Bo-Peep, of the Ranches

Makes the Whole World Kin

Mammon and the Archer

Man About Town

Masters of Arts

Memoirs of a Yellow Dog

Modern Rural Sports

Money Maze

Nemesis and the Candy Man

New York by Camp Fire Light

Next to Reading Matter

No Story

October and June

On Behalf of the Management

One Dollar's Worth

One Thousand Dollars

Out of Nazareth

Past One at Rooney's


Proof of the Pudding

Psyche and the Pskyscraper

Queries and Answers

Roads of Destiny

Roses, Ruses and Romance

Rouge et Noir

Round the Circle

Rus in Urbe

Schools and Schools

Seats of the Haughty

Shearing the Wolf



Sisters of the Golden Circle


Sociology in Serge and Straw

Sound and Fury

Springtime a La Carte

Squaring the Circle

Strictly Business

Strictly Business

Suite Homes and Their Romance

Telemachus, Friend

The Admiral

The Adventures of Shamrock Jolnes

The Assessor of Success

The Atavism of John Tom Little Bear

The Badge of Policeman O'Roon

The Brief Debut of Tildy

The Buyer From Cactus City

The Caballero's Way

The Cactus

The Caliph and the Cad

The Caliph, Cupid and the Clock

The Call of the Tame

The Chair of Philanthromathematics

The Champion of the Weather

The Church with an Overshot-Wheel

The City of Dreadful Night

The Clarion Call

The Coming-Out of Maggie

The Complete Life of John Hopkins

The Cop and the Anthem

The Count and the Wedding Guest

The Country of Elusion

The Day Resurgent

The Day We Celebrate

The Defeat of the City

The Detective Detector

The Diamond of Kali

The Discounters of Money

The Dog and the Playlet

The Door of Unrest

The Dream

The Duel

The Duplicity of Hargraves

The Easter of the Soul

The Emancipation of Billy

The Enchanted Kiss

The Enchanted Profile

The Ethics of Pig

The Exact Science of Matrimony

The Ferry of Unfulfilment

The Fifth Wheel

The Flag Paramount

The Fool-Killer

The Foreign Policy of Company 99

The Fourth in Salvador

The Friendly Call

The Furnished Room

The Gift of the Magi

The Girl and the Graft

The Girl and the Habit

The Gold That Glittered

The Greater Coney

The Green Door

The Guardian of the Accolade

The Guilty Party - An East Side Tragedy

The Halberdier of the Little Rheinschloss

The Hand that Riles the World

The Handbook of Hymen

The Harbinger

The Head-Hunter

The Hiding of Black Bill

The Higher Abdication

The Higher Pragmatism

The Hypotheses of Failure

The Indian Summer of Dry Valley Johnson

The Lady Higher Up

The Last Leaf

The Last of the Troubadours

The Lonesome Road

The Lost Blend

The Lotus And The Bottle

The Love-Philtre of Ikey Schoenstein

The Making of a New Yorker

The Man Higher Up

The Marionettes

The Marquis and Miss Sally

The Marry Month of May

The Memento

The Missing Chord

The Moment of Victory

The Octopus Marooned

The Passing of Black Eagle

The Pendulum

The Phonograph and the Graft

The Pimienta Pancakes

The Plutonian Fire

The Poet and the Peasant

The Pride of the Cities

The Princess and the Puma

The Prisoner of Zembla

The Proem

The Purple Dress

The Ransom of Mack

The Ransom of Red Chief

The Rathskeller and the Rose

The Red Roses of Tonia

The Reformation of Calliope

The Remnants of the Code

The Renaissance at Charleroi

The Roads We Take

The Robe of Peace

The Romance of a Busy Broker

The Rose of Dixie

The Rubaiyat of a Scotch Highball

The Rubber Plant's Story

The Shamrock and the Palm

The Shocks of Doom

The Skylight Room

The Sleuths

The Snow Man

The Social Triangle

The Song and the Sergeant

The Sparrows in Madison Square

The Sphinx Apple

The Tale of a Tainted Tenner

The Theory and the Hound

The Thing's the Play

The Third Ingredient

The Trimmed Lamp

The Unknown Quantity

The Unprofitable Servant

The Venturers

The Vitagraphoscope

The Voice of the City

The Whirligig of Life

The World and the Door

Thimble, Thimble


To Him Who Waits

Tobin's Palm

Tommy's Burglar

Tracked to Doom

Transformation of Martin Burney

Transients in Arcadia

Two Recalls

Two Renegades

Two Thanksgiving Day Gentlemen

Ulysses and the Dogman

Vanity and Some Sables

What You Want

While the Auto Waits

Whistling Dick's Christmas Stocking

Witches' Loaves


Mr. PENNE. . . . . . An Author
Miss LORE. . . . . . An Amanuensis

SCENE--Workroom of Mr. Penne's popular novel factory.

MR. PENNE--Good morning, Miss Lore. Glad to see you so prompt. We should
finish that June installment for the Epoch to-day. Leverett is crowding
me for it. Are you quite ready? We will resume where we left off
yesterday. (Dictates.) "Kate, with a sigh, rose from his knees, and----"

Miss LORE--Excuse me; you mean "rose from her knees," instead of "his,"
don't you?

MR. PENNE--Er--no--"his," if you please. It is the love scene in the
garden. (Dictates.) "Rose from his knees where, blushing with youth's
bewitching coyness, she had rested for a moment after Cortland had
declared his love. The hour was one of supreme and tender joy. When
Kate--scene that Cortland never--"

Miss LORE--Excuse me; but wouldn't it be more grammatical to say "when
Kate SAW," instead of "seen"?

MR. PENNE--The context will explain. (DICTATES.) "When Kate--scene that
Cortland never forgot--came tripping across the lawn it seemed to him
the fairest sight that earth had ever offered to his gaze."

Miss LORE--Oh!

MR. PENNE (dictates)--"Kate had abandoned herself to the joy of her
new-found love so completely, that no shadow of her former grief was
cast upon it. Cortland, with his arm firmly entwined about her waist,
knew nothing of her sighs--"

MISS LORE--Goodness! If he couldn't tell her size with his arm around--

MR. PENNE (frowning)--"Of her sighs and tears of the previous night."


MR.PENNE (dictates)--"To Cortland the chief charm of this girl was her
look of innocence and unworldiness. Never had nun--"

MISS LORE--How about changing that to "never had any?"

MR. PENNE (emphatically)--"Never had nun in cloistered cell a face more
sweet and pure."


MR. PENNE (dictates)--"But now Kate must hasten back to the house lest
her absence be discovered. After a fond farewell she turned and sped
lightly away. Cortland's gaze followed her. He watched her rise--"

MISS LORE--Excuse me, Mr. Penne; but how could he watch her eyes while
her back was turned toward him?

MR. PENNE (with extreme politeness)--Possibly you would gather my
meaning more intelligently if you would wait for the conclusion of the
sentence. (Dictates.) "Watched her rise as gracefully as a fawn as she
mounted the eastern terrace."


Mr. PENNE (dictates)--"And yet Cortland's position was so far above that
of this rustic maiden that he dreaded to consider the social upheaval
that would ensue should he marry her. In no uncertain tones the
traditional voices of his caste and world cried out loudly to him to let
her go. What should follow----"

MISS LORE (looking up with a start)--I'm sure I can't say, Mr. Penne.
Unless (with a giggle) you would want to add "Gallegher."

Mr.PENNE (coldly)--Pardon me. I was not seeking to impose upon you the
task of a collaborator. Kindly consider the question a part of the text.


Mr. PENNE (dictates)--"On one side was love and Kate; on the other side
his heritage of social position and family pride. Would love win? Love,
that the poets tell us will last forever! (Perceives that Miss Lore
looks fatigued, and looks at his watch.) That's a good long stretch.
Perhaps we'd better knock off a bit."

(Miss Lore does not reply.)

Mr. PENNE--I said, Miss Lore, we've been at it quite a long time--
wouldn't you like to knock off for a while?

MISS LORE--Oh! Were you addressing me before? I put what you said down.
I thought it belonged in the story. It seemed to fit in all right. Oh,
no; I'm not tired.

MR. PENNE--Very well, then, we will continue. (Dictates.) "In spite of
these qualms and doubts, Cortland was a happy man. That night at the
club he silently toasted Kate's bright eyes in a bumper of the rarest
vintage. Afterward he set out for a stroll with, as Kate on----"

MISS LORE--Excuse me, Mr. Penne, for venturing a suggestion; but don't
you think you might state that in a less coarse manner?

MR. PENNE (astounded)--Wh-wh--I'm afraid I fail to understand you.

MISS LORE--His condition. Why not say he was "full" or "intoxicated"? It
would sound much more elegant than the way you express it.

MR. PENNE (still darkly wandering)--Will you kindly point out, Miss
Lore, where I have intimated that Cortland was "full," if you prefer
that word?

MISS LORE (calmly consulting her stenographic notes)--It is right here,
word for word. (Reads.) "Afterward he set out for a stroll with a skate

MR. PENNE (with peculiar emphasis)--Ah! And now will you kindly take
down the expurgated phrase? (Dictates.) "Afterward he set out for a
stroll with, as Kate on one occasion had fancifully told him, her spirit
leaning upon his arm."


Mr. PENNE (dictates)--Chapter thirty-four. Heading--"What Kate Found in
the Garden." "That fragrant summer morning brought gracious tasks to
all. The bees were at the honeysuckle blossoms on the porch. Kate,
singing a little song, was training the riotous branches of her favorite
woodbine. The sun, himself, had rows----"

MISS LORE--Shall I say "had risen"?

MR. PENNE (very slowly and with desperate deliberation)--"The--sun--


MR. PENNE(dictates)--"The earliest trolley, scattering the birds from
its pathway like some marauding cat, brought Cortland over from Oldport.
He had forgotten his fair--"

MISS LORE--Hm! Wonder how he got the conductor to----

Mr. PENNE (very loudly)--"Forgotten his fair and roseate visions of the
night in the practical light of the sober morn."


MR. PENNE (dictates)--"He greeted her with his usual smile and manner.
'See the waves,' he cried, pointing to the heaving waters of the sea,
'ever wooing and returning to the rockbound shore.'" "'Ready to break,'
Kate said, with----"

MISS LORE--My! One evening he has his arm around her, and the next
morning he's ready to break her head! Just like a man!

MR. PENNE (with suspicious calmness)--There are times, Miss Lore, when a
man becomes so far exasperated that even a woman--But suppose we finish
the sentence. (Dictates.) "'Ready to break,' Kate said, with the
thrilling look of a soul-awakened woman, 'into foam and spray,
destroying themselves upon the shore they love so well."


MR. PENNE (dictates)--"Cortland, in Kate's presence heard faintly the
voice of caution. Thirty years had not cooled his ardor. It was in his
power to bestow great gifts upon this girl. He still retained the
beliefs that he had at twenty." (To Miss Lore, wearily) I think that
will be enough for the present.

MISS LORE (wisely)--Well, if he had the twenty that he believed he had,
it might buy her a rather nice one.

MR. PENNE (faintly)--The last sentence was my own. We will discontinue
for the day, Miss Lore.

MISS LORE--Shall I come again to-morrow?

MR. PENNE (helpless under the spell)--If you will be so good.

(Exit Miss Lore.)


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